Quiet Exhaustion: The Kind That Still Gets Things Done

Recognizing when you're running on empty — and what to do about it

Most women don’t have a dramatic “breaking point.”
They just quietly stop feeling like themselves.

They hold it together. Keep the house moving, show up at work, answer texts with heart emojis, plan the birthday parties, check in on friends. They're still doing all the things — they just can’t remember the last time they did any of it without the low hum of exhaustion underneath.

This is the version of burnout no one talks about: the high-functioning kind. The kind that looks like being on top of it — even when your nervous system is on fire.

And when you’ve been running on adrenaline for years, survival mode can start to feel like just… you.

You might not think you're in crisis. But your body knows.

There are signs, of course — but they’re easy to miss when “fine” is your default. You might find yourself getting snappy over small things. Or feeling blank during the moments that should feel sweet. Maybe you’ve started fantasizing about checking into a hotel just to stare at the ceiling and have no one ask you for anything.

There’s no award for ignoring your own needs the longest. And no shame in recognizing that you’re past due for a reset.

What it looks like to come out of crisis mode (it’s not what you think)

It doesn’t look like quitting your job or moving to the woods. It looks like finding ways — small, do-able ways — to stop sprinting through your life. To build in softness. To remember what calm feels like.

Sometimes that starts with the question: What would feel good today, if I weren’t trying to be useful all the time?

If any of this feels familiar, here’s your gentle nudge:

• You are allowed to need a break before things fall apart.

• You don’t have to prove how strong you are by doing it all alone.

• You’re still the capable, competent woman everyone knows — but you’re also a person who deserves rest, space, and peace.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just tired. Really, deeply tired.
And that’s not a flaw. That’s a signal.

Let it be the one you listen to.

- Joy Keller, LCSW